Recently there are two articles on “Tiger Moms” and “Kiasu (translated as “overly afraid of losing”) Parents” in Singapore. Interesting to read.
Parents in Singapore are indeed at a dilemma, overly pushing their child will lead to negative consequences (as mentioned in the articles), but not pushing their child may lead to falling behind academically.
This quote sums it up:
A housewife, who wanted to be known only as Mrs Lim, 43, said: “In Singapore, the pressure to do well starts early. Parents have no choice but to set high expectations of their kids’ performance.
“But I will be more mindful of the way I speak to my kids, so that they won’t feel bad about making mistakes in their work.”
The solution, ideally, is for children to be self-motivated rather than being pushed by parents. Check out some motivational educational books here.
The worst consequence of pushing children is that the child may lose the joy of learning.
Children with pushy parents are at a much higher risk of developing depression or anxiety symptoms, according to a local university study. The findings, according to researchers, are especially relevant to a society like Singapore’s, in which there is an emphasis on academic excellence.
Said the study’s head, Assistant Professor Ryan Hong: “Parents may set unrealistically high expectations for their children.
“As a result, a sizeable segment of children may become fearful of making mistakes.”
SINGAPORE – Children with intrusive parents may become overly critical of themselves, and such tendencies – at high or increased levels – are reportedly linked to depression or anxiety.
Parents who have high expectations of their children’s academic performance may urge them to achieve good grades or over-react when they make mistakes, but such actions may lead to unintended consequences, a National University of Singapore (NUS) study has found.
The five-year study, conducted by researchers from the department of psychology at NUS, examined how maladaptive perfectionism – commonly known as the “bad” form of perfectionism – develops in primary school children in Singapore.